Women rally to save #Pakistan’s taboo-busting ‘Oprah show’

Alia Waheed @AliaWaheed

Crowdfunder allows Kanwal Ahmed to keep sharing advice on sex, violence… and cooking.

A social media star has been dubbed Pakistan’s Kickstarter Oprah after her groundbreaking digital talk show in which women talk about taboo issues such as marital rape, cyberbullying and femicide was saved by fans.

Filming started this week on the new series of Conversations With Kanwal, in which presenter Kanwal Ahmed, 31, sheds light on issues that are rarely talked about within families, let alone in the public arena, after fans raised more than five million rupees (around £23,000) in less than a week using the online crowdfunding platform.

It was a remarkable achievement as the majority of fans were women living in Pakistan, where fewer than 30% are employed, so are often financially dependent on their spouses and don’t have their own bank accounts.

Ahmed’s journey towards becoming the nation’s favourite agony aunt began seven years ago when she launched Soul Sisters Pakistan (SSP), a women-only forum, where users could discuss taboo subjects such as domestic violence without fear of retribution. It also gave women the freedom to talk about anything from sex and relationships to Netflix and cooking tips. In a religiously and socially conservative nation such as Pakistan, where a selfie can result in an “honour killing”, SSP has become a lifeline for members or “Soulies” as they call themselves. The idea for the forum came about when Ahmed was working as a bridal make-up artist and found herself often dishing out advice to young women on everything from sex to handling in-laws.

“Many women don’t have anywhere to get information about sex and relationships and for many, their first experience of both may be on their wedding night,” said Ahmed. “It’s considered an act of shame to talk about something as intimate as sex.

“It’s ironic, because the word marriage is on everyone’s mind when a girl turns 18, but sex, body rights, contraception are hardly ever discussed with her. We grow up with biology books stapled to hide the reproduction section.”

SSP has more than 250,000 very active and vocal members, the majority of whom are aged between 18 and 35 and it was important to Kanwal that SSP should be an inclusive space for women of all backgrounds, including religious minorities, she said.

Any platform that unites such a diverse range of women will face controversy and many conservatives have accused Ahmed of promoting “promiscuity” and “wild behaviour”.

“SSP hosts a very diverse audience and the kinds of topics we discuss include those that are often considered shameful, so the SSP community routinely gets targeted for ‘leading women astray’,” said Ahmed. “When you try to challenge problematic norms, the backlash will occur. But it doesn’t mean we will back down. We only keep fighting harder.” Two years ago, Ahmed was selected as a community leader by Facebook in recognition of her efforts to use the social network to help others. She used its grant to launch Conversations with Kanwal on YouTube. “I wanted the things we championed for in the group to be talked about outside of it too, and hence within society at large. It was empowering for women to watch these stories and know they were not alone. Watching the struggles gave them strength and the happy endings gave them hope.” While the grant sustained the series for two seasons, it wasn’t enough to keep the show going, but despite hitting 30 million views – matched only by the most popular soap operas – most mainstream channels refused to touch the format because it was deemed too controversial, while others found it too hardhitting and wanted Ahmed to add a “beauty segment,” or comedy skit.

Like her Soulies, Ahmed turned to SSP for advice and launched a Kickstarter campaign. Donations flooded in, from a few rupees to thousands of dollars.

“Financial independence is not considered a birthright for those who identify as women. Many women either open a joint account with a male counterpart or only deal in cash, which is why it’s such a big deal,” said Ahmed. “It truly is a show that is powered by the people.”

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/dec/20/women-rally-to-save-pakistans-taboo-busting-oprah-show