Scars laid bare one year after Peshawar school massacre

By M Ilyas Khan

The authorities at Peshawar's Army Public School (APS) have carried out massive renovations in an attempt to remove the memory of the 16 December 2014 attack by the Pakistan Taliban that claimed 150 lives. But the first anniversary has laid bare the scars left by the tragedy.

Altaf Hussain, an English language teacher at the APS, describes himself as a strong-willed man. But many regrets have chased him over the last year.

He was injured in the attack, but it was the death of his six-year-old daughter, Khaula Bibi, that hurt the most.

Mr Hussain joined APS in August 2014, just four months before the massacre. He moved his family to Peshawar from his native town of Balakot. Two of his sons were admitted to the 7th Grade in APS, while Khaula was cleared for admission to 1st Grade on 15 December 2014.

The next day, she became the youngest and only female pupil to die in the APS massacre.

"We were in the computer lab on the first floor of the college wing, making snapshots of her and printing them on her admission form, when we heard the firing," Mr Hussain says.

Image captionAltaf Hussain lost his six-year-old daughter, Khaula Bibi, in the attack

Image captionKhaula Bibi (R) became the youngest victim of the attack

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Media captionPakistan prepares to remember its worse militant attack in recent years

He went around the corridor to see what was happening, and then came back thinking it must be an army drill. But soon afterwards, Madam Shahnaz, a school teacher, came running up the stairs and said they were killing the children.

It is a long story, but Mr Hussain says he entrusted Khaula to Ms Shahnaz and went out to assess the situation. He got two bullets in his torso and passed out.

He never saw Khaula again, or attended her funeral. He was on a ventilator for two days, and on a hospital bed for more than two weeks.

He was later told she took a bullet in the head, and that Ms Shahnaz was also killed.

"I passed her onto death with my own hands," he says.

"I could have taken her to safety. By then, I knew which side the gunmen were coming from and where was safe [to go], but instead I decided to engage the killers, trying to prevent them from coming up the stairs."

Image captionThe auditorium, where most of the killings took place, has now been refurbished

Image copyrightAP

Image captionThe auditorium the day after Taliban gunmen stormed the school

As with Mr Hussain, the onset of December is also stirring up memories for other parents and children.

"Anniversaries are sad occasions, they tend to increase the severity of a memory of loss, or an ordeal, and may even cause emotional breakdown," says Dr Mian Mukhtarul Haq Azemi, a senior psychiatrist at Lady Reading Hospital (LRH), Peshawar's largest.

Since the APS attack, LRH has provided psychotherapy to more than 500 parents and children suffering from anxiety, depression or the more severe post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

But Dr Azemi believes those affected by the APS massacre may run into thousands.